22 weeks

Here I am at 22 weeks at the Philly Zoo. I'm starting to get really big! About a week ago, I was changing my clothes and happened to look in the mirror, and GASP! I saw stretch marks. Right across my belly. There goes my dreams of wearing a bikini every again! Other changes that have been occurring are my feet swelling. I especially noticed it today after walking around the zoo for the entire day. My feet just don't seem to fit in my sneakers anymore! I'm waiting for people I interact with at the post office and places like that to notice that I'm pregnant and ask me about it in an excited tone. Maybe people don't do that in real life, for fear of offending someone who looks pregnant but actually isn't. But the fact that people aren't asking me about it makes me feel like they just think I'm getting fat. haha!

So here's the question we are getting all the time now: "have you thought about baby names?" The answer is, yes, we have. But I would really like to keep it a secret until his birth. TJ doesn't necessarily agree with that, but he's been sweet about it and is willing to comply. That being said, we aren't going to tell you the baby's name unless you fall under one of these categories:

a. our mom

b. our dad

c. our sister

d. our brother

And hey, maybe I'll change my mind further along, but for now, you will just have to wait for the surprise!

Choosing a baby name is an interesting process. My problem was that I had a bit of an inkling that it was a boy, and I was calling him, in my head, this name that I really liked that TJ had said he really liked too. So by the time we actually had to discuss what we would name him, I was already stuck on this name. Also, I know our baby better than TJ does at this point, so TJ would suggest some names that I just vetoed, not because it wasn't a nice name, but because I just knew that wasn't who our son is. We kept getting offended when we suggested a name that the other person didn't like, even though it's not really anything personal. And TJ suggested some names that I said we had to google image that name to see what ethnicity people of that name were. (I can't think of any good examples, though.) Anyway, the name we finally landed on was the result of insomnia. We made the mistake of discussing baby names right before bed, and then I couldn't sleep because I didn't feel settled. I paired every boy name I could think of with the first name we had already chosen, and after I came up with a good name, I finally fell asleep. And the next day, we decided that it was the perfect name!

20.5 weeks: Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

I recently read about this guy Nick Vujicic, a 29 year old man who was born without arms or legs. His parents had no idea that he was going to come out like that, so when the nurse laid him beside his mother, she said, "Take him away." She didn't hold him until he was four months old. His father had to leave the delivery room to vomit. It was a huge test to his parents' faith, who were both Christians. Now Nick is a motivational speaker, who travels the world preaching the gospel and the goodness of God, above your circumstances. People are so touched by his story and his attitude about his life, and it's just the most inspiring thing to see him testify about Jesus and never let anything hold him back from living a full life.

When I heard his story, my thoughts went instantly to his parents. In the difficulties of having a son with such a handicap, how could they have possibly known what God would do with Nick's life and how He would use Nick to inspire millions of people? They didn't know. They could have given him up for adoption. They could have told him he couldn't do anything due to his handicap. But they didn't. They raised their son the best way they could, focusing on the things that he could do instead of what he couldn't, and they trusted God with the rest.

Nick's story is a reminder of Psalm 139, which has been really striking me these days as I think of my own son. "You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." God is knitting together my son right now in my womb. My son is fearfully and wonderfully made. It's scary to bring a child into this world when there are so many challenges that could arise, but if God is knitting my son together, then there's no way to go wrong. Now I have seen my son's arms and legs, so we won't have that particular struggle, but who knows whether our son will develop autism. Who knows whether he will get cancer. Only the Lord knows.

His promise isn't that we will have a good looking son, who is intelligent, athletic, and will become a dentist someday (as per his mother's request). His promise is that He, personally, has knit together my son. My son is fearfully and wonderfully made by our Father God. I only know my son in a very limited manner right now. But God knows everything about my son. And in that truth, I can rest knowing that my sovereign God is knitting together something Good (yes, with a capital G).

20 weeks-IT'S A BOY!

Well, the wait is over, folks! We found out on Friday... that it's a boy! I was a little disappointed at first, to be honest, because I really wanted a girl. But I'm just so glad to know. It feels so much more real now that I know I have a son.

But now comes the hard part: giving him a name. We had a name picked out for a girl, and we were waiting to discuss boy names until we found out if that was actually necessary. I know we have time to work on this, but it's a hard process because we both take it personally when the other person doesn't like the name that we like. Don't expect me to tell what we land on, though. That will be a secret until he's born (at least to those outside of our family and closest friends).

They're making us go back in a month for another ultrasound. It has something to do with the umbilical cord being on the side which might affect the growth of the baby. I don't know. Nothing serious, but they want to make sure just in case.

Now for pictures...

 So my belly isn't always quite this huge, but since it's the end of the night, it's protruding. By the way, I know it's hard to look at anything other than my giant boobs and stomach, but I got 6 inches (at least) cut off from my hair. No one noticed!

Here is the pack and play we bought for our baby. We will be using this instead of a crib. I'm in full nesting mode!

This is an art project I'm working on for the baby. The tree trunk has the lyrics to "I Hope You Dance." I'm still deciding what else I want to add.