Thursday, January 15, 2015

the annoying thing about my husband

My husband is a terrible photographer. He doesn't understand which angles are flattering and which aren't. He doesn't know what to do about lighting. And he just doesn't ever even THINK about taking a photo, so I don't actually end up being in a lot of photos since I always have to take them. I guess it isn't his fault. Not everyone has a value for capturing the beauty of a moment in a photo. But I do, so TJ gets to be in ALL the photos, which is really annoying. How annoying that there is so much beauty in the way that my husband interacts with his sons, am I right? Gosh. If he was a crappy father, maybe I would be in all the photos.

Then again, when my husband takes a photo, he always catches me in a really unflattering pose. Maybe it's my fault for not knowing how to be a model. But it's like he doesn't even notice that the way that I was standing, plus the angle from which he was taking the photo, made me look like I was five months pregnant! He hands me the camera with the photo display on it, and he says, "This one is really good!" What?! How annoying. Can't he see that I am fat in this picture? It's as if my husband doesn't look at me and see a fat lady.

-"TJ, I look really fat here. Why didn't you tell me I was sticking out my stomach like that?"
-"What do you mean? I think you look great!"

Ugh. How annoying.

And then last night, there was the fact that I specifically explained that there was a bottle with breastmilk in it, and there was some formula in the fridge to add to it when Malcolm woke up. Then when I woke up feeling refreshed four hours later, the bottle had been given with the extra container of breastmilk, and the formula was still in the fridge. How annoying that my husband was too busy preparing his midterm tests to understand my specific instructions about the formula. Now we will probably have to throw it away. What a self-absorbed jerk my husband is!

Then again... I suppose there are worse things in life than a husband who always thinks his wife is beautiful and who stays up late to give the baby a bottle so she can rest.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

post c-section



Malcolm is finally here! He is so wonderful and was definitely worth all the aches and pains. He weighed in at 8 lbs 8 oz and 20 inches long. I was shocked to hear how big he was because I was guessing he would be just over 7 lbs!

Anyway, I had a much more pleasant experience this time around. The pre-op ritual was annoying because once you get to the hospital, you are just ready to get the show on the road, but it took almost two hours to get ready for surgery. It was very strange to walk into an operating room and lie down on the table! They gave me a spinal epidural, which was VERY painful. I cried. I was so panicky as they were preparing for surgery that I almost started screaming for TJ. I was just really scared. When TJ was finally allowed in, I could hardly speak. I was stuttering, and I just kept repeating, "Afraid. Afraid." (I don't seem to handle anesthesia very well.) I could feel a lot of tugging as they did the surgery, and when they were ready to get Malcolm out, they pushed really hard on my stomach. I don't remember that part being so unpleasant with Blake's birth.

But I said that this time around was more positive than last time, didn't I? Now to the good part! They lowered the drape, and I saw the most beautiful little face! Then I cried again. They cleaned him off, and I was able to hold him for the rest of the surgery. I was a lot more with it than I was with Blake's delivery, so as they wheeled me into the recovery room, I got to keep Malcolm with me. It was so wonderful.

Recovery from c-section is rough. It is hard to take care is your baby when you are hooked up to an iv and cant get out of bed on your own. It's an emotional experience because all you want to do is go pick up your baby when he's crying, and I just couldn't get up. I actually pushed too hard at one point while TJ was away and opened up my incision getting up out of the bed. I have been healing much quicker after this surgery than I did with Blake's though, which is such a blessing. But now that we are home, I am so emotional from missing Blake. TJ has been taking care of him since I can't lift him or get on the floor to play with him. Blake is handling the transition well so far, but I think it is only because he has daddy to play with him. The real test will come when TJ goes back to work next week.

I am so thankful for a much more positive experience this time around. I know that repeat c-sections are controversial in the mommy wars world, but I am so blessed to have two healthy sons, regardless of how they got here.