39.5 weeks: false alarm

So there I was at home, resting after doing some cleaning and organizing at my dad's house. I could tell my back was sore due to all the hard work, but then it started getting worse... so I thought maybe I'll just lie down and rest and feel better. But there was no position for my body to be in that made the pain lessen at all. Soon I was screaming and crying because it hurt so bad. I called my mom, and I told TJ he better come home from work because mom thought it could be labor starting. By this time, it was about 7 PM. We decided to go to the hospital, and we ran around finishing the labor bags just in case we would be staying.

The car ride to the hospital was just excruciating because my temperature kept fluctuating, and I felt so trapped in the car. My back hurt so bad I just couldn't even hardly breathe. I was already begging for an epidural and even a c-section. So there I am, in so much pain, and they make me come and check in at triage. They're asking me my phone number, address, emergency contact. They even asked me if I wanted to include my religious affiliation. I couldn't believe that I was sitting there, possibly in labor but definitely in pain, answering questions like this! They already had my information!

Finally we went to a room, and they hooked me up to a fetal heart rate monitor and a contraction monitor. I sort of had no choice but to lie in that uncomfortable bed in a certain position because of those monitors, so it wasn't fun. They were super busy in triage last night, so even when I pressed the help button, sometimes it took 20 minutes for someone to come.

They did two urine samples, and then they determined they needed to do an ultrasound because they started suspecting it was kidney stones. That ultrasound was the worst pain ever. She had to press on my kidney, where it was hurting the most. And then she was pressing really, really hard on my pelvic bone. I really felt like she was crushing my bones. I cried through the whole thing.

After that, I told them I needed pain meds. It took them probably a half an hour to get me a pill, and I'm not sure if the pill ended up helping me or not. 15 minutes after I took the pill, I vomited, so I might have expelled the pill anyway. I instantly felt better.

The doctor came in and told me that I had an inflamed kidney and a kidney stone. She told me I could stay at the hospital and be hooked up to an IV so it wouldn't be painful, or we could go home with a prescription for pain meds and wait for it to pass. I couldn't imagine staying in that hospital bed and gown for one more minute, so I opted to go home.

I was able to sleep through the night pain free, praise God! I haven't had any pain so far today, and I'm just drinking a lot of fluids to try to get this kidney stone to pass.

I am so SO thankful that I wasn't actually in labor, even though it was disappointing in some ways. I could not have survived a labor with that amount of back pain, not naturally anyway. So the 28th (the day TJ had been praying the baby would be born) has come and gone, and now, who knows. I'm preparing myself mentally for a February birth (a much bigger hospital bill) at this point. Guess we might be able to attend a Super Bowl party after all. Go Ravens! (I like that bright red color.)

39 weeks: being a hero

I've been saying to people that I would like to go all natural for Blake's birth, but I'm not going to tell them to refuse me the drugs if I beg. The phrase I keep hearing from people is, "You don't need to be a hero." And I keep agreeing with that because it gets my point across that I'm not going to refuse the drugs if I absolutely need them.

But I've been thinking... why shouldn't I be a hero?

I'm about to become a mom. And I want to be a hero to my kids, so labor/delivery seems like a good place to start.

Don't hear me wrong--I don't judge anyone who chooses to get an epidural or who needs to get a c-section. It's different for every woman. But I do hate how the hospitals just try to make money off of people and how getting an epidural or getting induced seems to have a snowball effect. And it's so easy to take advantage of a mother in labor who is in pain and whose main concern is the safety of her child. And what do we simple layman know about medicine? That's why I'm so thankful to be delivering at Women's and Babies with a midwife. In my experience at May Grant, I have not liked any of the doctors I've seen, but I have liked all of the midwives. The doctors keep pushing me to get more ultrasounds, for no good reason, and my midwife assures me that more ultrasounds would be unnecessary. So you tell me who is out for my good and who just wants my money. Unfortunately, these incidents have made me have trouble trusting doctors and labor interventions.

As I look forward to D-Day with excitement (and anxiety), I just can't wait to prove myself a hero. I feel like if I can deliver my son naturally, I can do anything. And that's a powerful way to start motherhood.

36 weeks: in defense of cloth

Here I am at 36 weeks. Getting big, but I'm hopeful that the weight gain is slowing and/or stopping soon!

I would like to give a defense for our choice to use cloth diapers, not that I think I owe any explanation, but just so you can understand our reasoning for such a decision. I have always felt burdened by the amount of disposable diapers that will lie in landfills for hundreds of thousands of years, but I didn't think there was any alternative until my wonderful friend Debby announced she would be using cloth diapers for her little one. I learned from Debby that cloth diapers are not what they used to be; in fact, they are quite easy to use and quite reliable. Let me lay out a few reasons why cloth is better:

1. They are cost-effective. I found a good priced brand of one size pocket diapers for which we paid approx. $6.50 each. In total, we paid about $200. Cloth diapering saves about $1000 per year, so considering that these diapers will take a baby from birth to potty training AND that you can use these diapers for subsequent children, that can add up to A LOT. (Of course if you pay your water bill, you would have to factor in the cost of doing more laundry. For us, that isn't an issue yet.)

2.They have super cute patterns. Sure, they might be more bulky than the disposable types, but who really cares?

3. Cloth diapered babies have less diaper rash. They are exposed to fewer chemicals, since disposable diapers are processed in factories and what not (this is clearly not a science lesson).

4. In case the idea of cloth diapering shocks you, let me take it one step further and tell you that we will be attempting to use cloth wipes. Yes, you read that correctly. Here's another great way to save money. And if you are already washing cloth diapers, you might as well wash some wipes, too.

5. Most importantly, going natural and utilizing reusable items is a way that I feel close to God. To me, it's important to take care of God's creation as much as I can, and using cloth diapers and wipes for our baby is one big way that I can do that. This is an important value for TJ and me, and we feel that it's a great way to introduce this value to our baby early on. So I really don't care what the naysayers have to say about our decision because to me, this is partly a faith issue.


I don't judge others for not making the same decision as us with this, BUT I do wish that parents would at least consider the option. I feel like our society doesn't even act like this is an option. We wonder whether we will have to use disposable diapers when we bring our children to the nursery at church or with babysitters, and it's kind of sad to me that we would have to do that. We will have to change our ways to accommodate and fit the norm. I hate the idea of it, but sadly, it might be what we have to do.