Here I am at Megan's wedding this past weekend. We had some people at the wedding we wanted to tell about the pregnancy--people who are old friends, but not necessarily close friends at this stage in life. But one of TJ's friends from college came up to me and asked me if I was pregnant (and told me to slap her if she was wrong) so I told her yes. Well, pretty soon everyone knew. So we went to tell others, and they just said, "I know already." It took the fun out of telling people, and at the same time, it saved us some repetitive conversations. But I was self-conscious the rest of the night because while I can tell I've gained a few pounds, I didn't realize it was noticeable enough that someone would be able to tell that I'm pregnant. Maybe I have to start thinking more about healthy eating and stuff so that I don't gain weight too rapidly. I want to be a cute pregnant lady, not someone with too much cushioning. Plus I want to be healthy.
But onto something more serious... I'm struggling emotionally because my dad isn't happy about this baby. I think he will probably come around, but it's hard because I wish he wanted to be involved and hear updates about the baby's growth. Do I call him and tell him how our ultrasound goes on Friday? Do I even call him when we find out if it's a boy or a girl? My natural tendency is to say, "Fine, if you don't want to be involved, then I just won't call you at all." I just want to shut him out. I don't want his negative energy around my baby anyway. But something tells me that this isn't the right way to respond? It's a struggle though because I want my dad to be happy about this baby. I want him to be excited about a grandchild. But he's not, and I don't know what to do with that. I guess all I can do is pray that he comes around.
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