While this seems like a very morbid title for a blog entry, I assure you it isn't meant to be. The death I am referring to is the death required to all of us Christ followers--to lay down your life for the sake of others. We are, of course, commanded to lay down our life for all others, but it is most necessary to our spouses and to our children. I knew when I agreed to marry TJ that I was agreeing to put him above myself. It meant that sometimes I'm having a bad day, but I'm going to step it up because TJ is having a bad day, too. It means that sometimes I have to watch the show that he wants to watch. And God promises that I am BLESSED for sacrificing my desires for my husband's sake.
The good news is that dying to self in a marriage is a reciprocal relationship, where sometimes TJ will step it up for my sake. However, dying to self for your children does not tend to be directly reciprocal. It means that sometimes I am going to want time to myself, but Blake decides that nap time will be a little shorter today, so I don't get to read the chapter I wanted to read in my book. It means that when Blake needs me in the middle of the night, it doesn't matter how tired I am. Blake's needs will always come before mine (not that my needs are not important and do not need to be addressed). As a new mother, I'm learning how to address my needs in different ways. I'm adjusting. It means maybe I shower only every other day. It means that I wait to enjoy relaxing time until Blake is napping. It means that TJ and I schedule a date night maybe twice a month if we are lucky, and we cherish that time alone together. For these sacrifices as a mother, I am BLESSED!
Being called to be a wife and a mother are not easy jobs. I remember in college, my friends and I sat together and expressed what the one thing we wanted to do in our lives before we die was. For most of us, it was to get married and have a family. We saw marriage and children as our happy ending. I don't think we were thinking about the challenges of these roles at that time because we didn't know then what these roles require. But being a wife has made me a better woman. And being a mother is making me an even better woman. These are the roles I have been called to, and they aren't necessarily a "happy ending," but they are beautiful. Every day, I grow to be more Christ-like as I lay down my life for my husband and my son.
Perhaps my friends and I worded our biggest life goal incorrectly, for in order to have a good marriage and be a good mother, you have to die. These aren't the things that happen before we die; these are the things for which we die daily.
No comments:
Post a Comment